35 weeks and 4 days: Nesting

Well, needless to say I haven't been writing as much. It's been a slow progression into laziness. Laziness is not the correct word. Madness? Madness is also not the correct word. If only there was a unique word to describe how I've been feeling and acting.

I am still working. Full time. A little less than I am used to, about 43 hours a week. I still have weekends off, where I expect that I will sleep for a least 48 hours straight because I am so tired from the work week, but I never do. Weeknights I assume I will drive home from work with my eyelids propped open with toothpicks and roll out of my car into bed for the night. I do not.

Something happens when I get home, a second wind. Something miraculous. I start to clean; laundry, dishes, make dinner, washing baby clothes and blankets. Is this the 'nesting' I've read about? For some reason when I heard the word nesting, I always thought it meant sleeping a lot. Like just hanging out in your home (nest) and not doing anything. Now I realize it means getting this nest ready for your egg to hatch. It's an impulse that defies all logic. I am exhausted, I should rest. What the hell am I doing.

So yesterday, Saturday, I woke up at 4:30 am with my husband as he got ready to go to work. We talked for a while and I figured I'd just drift back off to sleep after he left. After all, falling back to sleep is a finely honed skill by now. All the trips to the bathroom every night has really given me a lot of practice. Paul did leave for work at about 5 or 5:30, I however, did not fall back to sleep. I went into the kitchen for some water. And so it began.

There were a couple glasses and a dish in the sink from the night before. I washed them. Without thinking, I then started to give the sink a good scrub down. I went into the fridge for a bottle of cold water, but not before rearranging everything, pulling out and tossing old food and wiping everything down. Finally I had my water in hand and I headed back to bed where my big blind dog was keeping a spot warm for me. Looking at Louie lying there I thought how much nicer this would be if my blankets and sheets were clean. I painstakingly got Louie to wake up and 'scoot over', 'off the bed' and stripped all the blankets, sheets and pillow cases and started a load of laundry. There I realized there were tiny muddy paw prints on the top of the washer and dryer from where a naughty cat had been. I got the cleaner and some paper towels and proceeded to wipe off every square inch of the washer and dryer, then the counter and cupboard and on and on until everything was sparkling in our utility room.

So now of course I cannot go to sleep on a bare mattress. The sun is up and the dogs are hungry. I fed the dogs and came back inside. Before I know it I'm cleaning off the dining room table, paying a few bills and filling out a preregistration form for the Child Birth Center at our local hospital. Folding laundry, vacuuming, dusting the ficken vacuum off! What next? I haven't even made my way down the hall into the nursery yet. Suddenly everything just stops. My energy drops. I've been up for 4 hours or so and I haven't eaten or drank any of that water that started all of this. I make a snack. The blankets are done so I make the bed. The warm comforter from the dryer feels and smells so good that I finally lay back down. I felt like I could sleep for another eight hours.

This nesting business is a strange phenomenon. I am cleaning and being productive without a list or a plan of any sort. Actually while I was doing it, my mind was pretty much blank. Later I went on the computer and update my Facebook status:
"I've been awake since 4:30am. I am cleaning. And cleaning things that clean things. Like dusting the vacuum, and wiping off the washer and dryer. Is this what 'nesting' feels like? Meth, it feels like meth."
Oh, boy I'm so funny. Ha! My brother commented that my mother was doing the very same thing at the same time. If this is nesting, then my mom has been nesting for 40 years or so. She has a especially intense bought of the nesting on weekends and it usually starts before sunrise. 

Maybe this isn't nesting at all, maybe I am just finally becoming what I was always told I would some day. My mother.

That used to be a scary thought. I have changed my mind on the subject. I am not ACTUALLY turning into my mother. I am still 34 years younger and live a different life. This is not Freaky Friday or anything. It's a fact that as we get older, we may fall into some similar patterns as our parents. That is why I believe that we need to be conscious and honest about this. If your folks were horribly abusive shit bags, than maybe you should be aware that your predisposition is leaning toward the same. 

Fortunately for me, my mothers quirks are pretty minor and she is all and all maybe the best woman I have ever known. Thanks mom for nesting all these years. You took great care of us.

Pregnancy Cravings

Super close up: Falafel Ball

I'm sure we all know a few pregnancy stereotypes. I know I've heard my share over the years. Either from TV or from friends. Pregnant women are emotional, they can suddenly snap and be huge bitches and they have sudden urges for very specific foods. The cravings thing is always played up on comedy sitcoms. It leaves men running out in their slippers on  a cold winters night for chocolate ice cream and dill pickles. It has men turning around to head back to the store for a bag of crinkle cut potato chips when they bought the regular lays, not realizing the different would make their pregnant wife cry.

Well, so far I've put these stereotypes to shame. I've been pretty great to be around, if I do say so myself. I know, because I'm around myself 24/7 and if I'm grumpy, I hate it and I'm really hard on myself. I'm sure some women are beasts to be around when they're with child, but some women are horrible when they aren't pregnant too. The cravings thing I was thinking was a load of crap as well. I hadn't had any REAL cravings. I had food aversions the first three months. Ham steak made me cry while alone in my kitchen one time. "But it's so... slimy!" I thought pickles, mustard and anything vinegar based was the bees knees in my 4th month. I just never had that light bulb go off compelling me to eat only one specific thing. Like a food emergency. Like your baby inside of you has a switch blade and they're threatening your life unless you eat cauliflower dipped in carmel apple sauce. It hadn't happened.... until.

Sliced turnips in brine with a few sliced beets for color.

There is was. It hit my like a ton of bricks. I want falafel. I don't want box crap, I don't want to go to a restaurant, I want falafel like I used to make at the Lebanese restaurant I worked at for a few years. And I want that falafel with lettuce, tomato, dill pickle, tahini sauce and turnip pickles. You can't just go to the regular old grocery store and buy turnip pickles. I would have to make them, and wait a week for them to ferment. Okay. This is a intense craving that will take days to fulfill. This cannot be remedied by waking my husband in the middle of the night and forcing him to drive to the AM PM. No, I will have to handle this myself.

Falafel is a long process, but once you've made the mix you can freeze it and it keeps for a long time. Then you can just thaw what you need to fry a batch and make sandwiches. I went to the store and bought dry beans: chick peas and fava beans. Fresh herbs, onions, garlic, pita, lemon juice, turnips, beets, pickling salt and vinegar. This would be everything I need to make my beloved falafel and proper condiments.

Falafel, mix, chop, fry and assemble.

First, start the pickles. Slice, layer, vinegar, salt and water. Close the jar and into the fridge. Easy, the waiting part is hard. Next for the falafel. I started by soaking the beans over night. The next day, everything into the food processor. Mix it up and we're done. Okay, it sounds easier than it is. I skipped all the boring details. Interested in making falafel? Look it up online. They have every recipe in the whole world available. If it seems to easy and it uses canned beans, move on. It is worth the nights soak and the extra plucking of parsley for the best falafel.

So two days later, I could wait no longer. I would eat my turnip pickles before they were done. That's okay. The really amazing part was that I did not lose that craving. It was a strong urge, a pull, a drive to have this meal. It became very important to me, and I'd be damned to let this be forgotten. I fried the falafel, chopped some lettuce, tomato and pickles and make the tahini sauce.

That was the best friggin' dinner I have ever had. It was so worth all the work and waiting. My husband is the luckiest mofo on earth. Instead of wandering into the darkness in search of dill pickle flavored chips and buffalo sauce, he is sitting down with me to enjoy a delicious homemade meal. I like to keep him happy. He keeps me happy too. That dinner was rich with delicious and many compliments.

Stay tuned for pregnancy craving #2...

Shower Cakes Idea

Having a baby shower? Like cake? Get creative!
Who needs just a boring old cake again.

So tomorrow is my baby shower. It's a strange feeling. I've never been the star of a party, let alone one that I had no hand in planning at all. My mother, my aunt and my cousin are planning and prepping entirely. My cousin Krista picked out and mailed the invites. She did a great job picking out an invite that I really liked.

What is a baby shower? and do I have to shower first? The questions are endless. I know there will be gifts, there will be food set up in an elegant and decorative manner. That is what my mother does best. I will take a lot of photos to show it off to the world.

What I'm sure I won't have at an event like this is a amazing theme cake like the one pictured above. How better to say 'This is a Baby Shower' than with a cake that looks like a vagina with a baby shooting out. I know that this will happen to me, although my pubic hair is not made of chocolate frosting. Unfortunately.

We plan to have another party in the beginning of September. A House Warming Baby Shower. or House Baby Warm Shower.  Baby House Shower Warming. You get the idea. We just moved into a new house and we want to have some friends over. I want Paul to have a chance to celebrate the upcoming baby with friends and family too. Baby showers just for girls? Yeah, because it's traditionally boring. No guys would want to go anyway. Both. Let's do that, the traditional baby shower. Politeness, ladies, cleanliness and cute food. I will enjoy it. I will love being showered. This may very well be the last time that I am ever the center of attention. There will soon be the star of the show arriving. Enter, center stage, my vagina and baby.

29 Weeks and Moving

It's been a few weeks since I've posted anything. We moved, I'm working full time and we went on vacation. Life is so hard. Kidding! It's great! But I just can't find enough time to keep up with my writing. Oh, well. There are worse things I could be neglecting. I think I've got my priority's in line.

Today is day four of my 29th week of pregnancy. I am into my third trimester and officially in my seventh month. Funny, I actually had to look at the Baby Center pregnancy app I have on my iPod to tell you how far along I was. In the beginning, I could have told you how many hours it had been since the egg was fertilized, now I have too look to remember if I'm 27, 28 or 29 weeks. By paying a little less close attention as far as this timeline goes, I am having a lot more fun and time isn't dragging by.

The fact is, this baby is going to be here before I know it. My husband was actually so confused that for a couple of days he thought I only had six weeks left, like I was due in September instead of October. I chalk that up to my fault because I'm not giving him those daily updates like I did in the beginning: "It's a tadpole, a blueberry, a apple, some other exotic fruit..." etc. When Paul told me, 'no Lanni, it's only 6 more weeks', my stomach dropped and I almost passed out. No. Friggen. Way. I need to pay better attention. Thanks again to my amazing Baby Center app that confirmed I still had 77 days until my due date. Holy moly!

My last doctors appointment went really well. My blood pressure is controlled, my weight gain has been great and my glucose test was passed with flying colors. This pregnancy is going just about as good as it ever could. I'm feeling spoiled almost. I'm still able to work full time, even overtime most weeks, and do fun things with my husband. Like Friday night, for instance, we went to a midnight movie with a bunch of friends. It was the one and only big screen showing of the made for Sci Fi Channel movie, Sharknado. Yes, it's about a tornado of sharks. It was amazing. I was out until three am and we had a blast. I just took a two hour nap before we left. I felt drunk from the weird sleep and didn't have to drive so that was a bonus too. If you don't know Sharknado and you love 'bad' movies, look it up.

Our move was also a great thing. Now I have a baby's room to work on! The toughest part about moving was trying to do what I always do. I am totally buff and strong and manly and can usually carry a full sized couch above my head with one arm, spinning. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but I'm no wussy. This was so different. I couldn't even carry a milk crate full of records. Something we take for granted is the ability to brace objects we're carrying against our abdomen. Now, I have to hold things way out front and that is way harder on your back and arms.

When we were at the doctors my husband asked our doc to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing for the move. This was his way of helping me be okay with 'not doing enough'. It was easier to let go after the doctors orders. I just used our super strong reusable shopping bags instead of boxes so I could carry one in each hand with my back straight instead of carrying one big thing out in front. This worked well and I was still able to help.

Unpacking, decorating and setting things up has been different too. Usually I'd want a marathon of activity and push through until things were set up and then I could relax and enjoy. Now, I get tired much more easily and I've been taking a lot more breaks. Paul was a big help moving the things we don't use all the time to our garage for storage. Like Christmas decorations, old keepsakes and our butt loads of ultra violent horror movies on VHS. I guess those don't have to be on the movie shelf anymore. We'll save those for later.

More to come on our vacation...

26 Weeks

Today (Thursday, July 11th) I am 26 weeks along. Today I woke up and suddenly, I feel HUGE. I feel like my abdominal wall is stretched to maximum capacity and I will just rip open if I get any bigger. I know this can't be true, because I still have 12 to 14 weeks of growing to do. What!?

Nothing is ideal. Sitting, standing, lying down. Nothing. But also, nothing is unbearable. Everything is okay, but long gone are the days of napping comfortably on by stomach, outside in the shade lying on a blanket. I don't think I could lie on the ground comfortably on my side anymore. So I guess I'm not 12 years old anymore. No more Nancy Drew novels digested while lying on my stomach on the floor of my room, knees bent, feet kicking back and forth above my body. Wait, that never happened. I've never read any Nancy Drew. More realistically would be me reading Christopher Pike or something. Die Cheerleader was one of my favorite books as an 11 year old girl. That may be more realistic. Still, none of that comfort. I'm no longer able to be carelessly unaware of my body. Here it is. I am here.

The other day my husband walked into the room with two more hot dogs on a plate and said to me, "It's one of those 'eat a whole package of hot dogs' kind of days. Do you love me anyway?"
I responded. "No, I love you because."

Fact is, I can only love a man who can drive a full pack of hot dogs in him. No more, no less. He is the perfect man for me.

Here is an example of what makes me a truly happy person. Sure, maybe we're not millionaires. Maybe we don't have fancy cars and clothes and gadgets. Maybe my dog is a blind mutt and our cats are secretly plotting to kill us, but we are happy. My blind mutt is happy, and our homicidal felines are pretty happy to. It is the small things that we must not over look. The small, wonderful things that we might miss if we hurray past. I love my husband, because he makes me laugh, because he is kind and thoughtful, and because he can put away a full pack of tube steaks.

So when I have a side ache because my core is being stretched to the max, or I can't seem to figure out how to flip over from lying on my left side to lying on my right, I think about all the little things and I smile. I laugh because I'm a giant turtle, stuck on their shell. I'm happy because I have another human forming inside of me. Someone who we are already familiar and we have not yet met. A little Paul and Lanni and a whole lot of individual. I can't wait to meet him. Any discomfort is temporary and well worth it.

I will remind myself daily to look for joyful things. To give myself moments to enjoy things and to accept the little gifts the universe throws at me. If my husband and I can teach our child anything, I hope it will be to be happy.

Neato Parenting Fads

Please, read this article. It is informative and hilarious!
Click the link to open the article;
6 Progressive Parenting Fads You Won't Believe are Legal:
http://www.cracked.com/article_19344_6-progressive-parenting-fads-you-wont-believe-are-legal.html

One Great List, 6 Great Ideas. My thoughts:

#6 Suspended Baby Cages
You had me at Baby Cage. Need I say more? Best part, you're child learns the valuable skill of climbing out of open windows. Well done.

#5 Baby Yoga

This video should clearly show why I believe this to be a sick and twisted form of child torture. It has clips from the same video posted with the article above but this clip is from a news broadcast warning people that this is NOT a healthy baby exercise and to not try this at home. They also show this to a woman who is holding her newborn for the fist time. Nice of them, isn't it?

#4 Man Milk
My husband Paul and I have been talking a lot about this one. We believe this could be our best chance for me to get back to work quickly and skip the formula. Or not. Probably not.

#3 Deification Sans Diaper
Sounds cheap, clean, effective and simple. Forget the diaper and just clean up the shit. Clean up the constant, unpredictable stream of shit. Wait, maybe diapers are worth the price after all.

#2 Genderless Child
See my previous post Genderless Child.

#1 Lotus Birth
I have also dedicated an entire post to this subject before I found this article. Quite an amazing idea really. Natural is better. What is natural? Trendy Birthing Ideas, Vol. 1: Lotus Birth


Prenatal Life Coaching
Here is my very favorite prenatal parenting fad, Prenatal Life Coaches. You've heard of a Life Coach, someone who, well, I don't know. Someone who pretends they have some qualification to give you advice. A counselor with no degree. A psychologist with no accreditation. A psychotherapist with no ability to understand or prescribe medicine. Sounds safe and effective right? It also sounds like my mom is already my life coach, only I don't have to pay the lady. That makes it easier to decline any advice I don't believe fits well for me.

My Blind Dog Louie is the Best Life Coach.
Louie is a great listener, a good huger and an even better snuggler. Also, he doesn't charge and when he's bugging me I can just put him outside and shut the door (I could try this with my mom too?). He won't even hold a grudge at our next session. Louie never tries to force me into anything I don't feel comfortable with. I am confident he's listening to me because he always tilts his head from side to side, showing he's being an active listener.
www.lifewithblindlouie.blogspot.com

Who's your life coach? Any neat parenting ideas? Share them in the comments!

Movement: Make My Bububs Bounce

There's a party in my uterus and I'm not invited.

It's like having noisy downstairs neighbors. Up all night partying. Kicking the walls and ceiling. My mouth is connected to this party. If I have some sugar, watch out! My downstairs neighbor goes buck wild. Some kind of Tae Bo party. Does that date me, make me old? Anyone else remember the Tae Bo fad? Moving on.

Clearly, the most exciting part of pregnancy thus far is feeling my baby move. It is just, so. damn. NEAT! I'm at a loss for words really. It is all happening gradually but quickly. At first I felt a subtle swimming. Now it's kicks. Full on. No mistaking. Kicks and punches. Usually down really low. I'm even noticing a pattern in activity at certain times of the day.

So, what exactly is going on in there? It seems our little fella is stretching out. Practicing movements. Sucking and swallowing. Tasting and hearing now even. I can't believe it! It is a miracle. It is nothing short of miraculous that a human being is forming inside of my body. A real live baby is growing inside of my woman parts. My uterus is magic!

For the first time in my life I am completely on board with the idea of me being a woman. I've always hoped, wished and wondered otherwise. I was such a tomboy growing up, I was sure I was a boy from age 4 to 10. Now I know I'm not, and I would be missing out on this amazement if I was. I'm not saying that a man can't experience the wonder of becoming a father while his child is still in the womb. I'm just saying that he will never feel that baby growing inside of him, the same blood pumping through both of their veins. My fetus breathes what I breathe, eats what I eat, tastes what I taste. This connection that I will undoubtedly have with my child is already so strong. I understand more than ever what my mother was going through as she raised me. (Sorry mom. Please forgive me for being such a... teenager.)

Gotta make my bububs bounce.

Everyday I feel the kicking and I think that, this is it, it won't get any stronger. Then the next day there is a harder one and that slowly becomes the new norm. To think that sooner or later I could be actually seeing my baby move under my skin is amazing! It's something that would have scared me when I was younger. Something you see in a horror movie before the monster burst through the skin of the unaware victim leaving them lifeless and bleeding. Nope, that's just my baby boy in there, and I love him.