And Then There Was Dario

We had a baby. It was awesome. I did it! No drugs! I remember every detail. I got super high, naturally. The body is an amazing thing. I am still impressed when I think about it.

After giving birth, there I was, in a hospital with my husband and our new son. My mom headed out right after he was born to give us time to bond and rest. The nurses cleaned up and moved out. It was just us, our little family. Paul, Lanni and Dario. Starting our life together.

So much had changed with my body in such a short time. My big hard belly was gone. I had lost a lot of blood. I had a third degree tear and a bunch of stitches. I did not know what this meant at the time and I really didn't care. I had this beautiful baby in my arms!

I tried to breast feed for the first time not long after he was born. He got it right away. I felt awkward trying to find a comfortable position to hold him. I also felt like I was suffocating him with my giant boob. The nurse helped and reassured me. My husband just kept reminding me that I needed to "push the milk out" and he would flex his arms and chest and make grunting sounds. I love him because he can always make me laugh, but I'm pretty sure that's not how that works.

A strange part about nursing initially was that it caused more contractions. I really didn't remember reading about that. Nursing makes your body make oxytocin, it makes you feel good, bond with your baby and it contracts your uterus to help it shrink back down to size. Very interesting how it all works.

Just after the little guy latched on I was suddenly ravenously hungry and super thirsty. I figure this is where I would be tempted to eat my young if he wasn't so cute and I wasn't all loopy from the hormones. The nurse seemed to know that I would be hungry and brought me whatever she could find since the kitchen was already closed. A half a sandwich, a small bag of pretzels, a banana, a cookie and some juice. She also filled my water jug with the best ice water I had ever had. I hadn't eaten for over 14 hours, that was a super long time for a pregnant lady.

I slept, a little, when the baby slept. A nurse came in the room every hour to check the babies temperature and listen to his heartbeat. I tried nursing every two hours. Dario didn't hardly cry at all that first night. He fussed a little and I would talk to him and he would settle right back down.

We stayed another day and night in the hospital and checked out in the morning. I guess it's called discharge when you leave the hospital, not check out time, but whatever. It wasn't like a regular hospital experience. It wasn't like I was in the ER or had some kind of traumatic injury or surgery. I've decided I'll call it check out time.

The ride home from the hospital was surreal. I rode in the back with Dario. He looked so little in the car seat. His body was mush and he couldn't hold his head back at all. I found myself holding his head the whole drive home, just staring at him. Many hours of just staring at him have followed, and many more are still to come I'm sure.

In my upcoming posts, I will try to go week by week. I am catching up from a lack of writing. For six weeks I have only taken notes. So many changes are happening everyday. I hope to note them here for us to look back on someday. I also hope that my friends and family that aren't close by will enjoy reading, and if someone stumbles on this that has a young child they may take something from it.

Me and Dario, 10/21/2013, 1 day old.