Knowledge is power? Or is knowledge a great reason for extreme anxiety? Well, I guess it depends on how you choose to use and store that knowledge. This thought stems from my recent purchase of the very well known book 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. I did not realize how thorough it would be. Should I say T.M.I? Is there such a thing as TOO much information. For now, I have reasonable control over my emotions and thoughts and I've been keeping very optimistic. With every worrisome condition discussed in this book, they give you a dozen reasons why you still shouldn't fret about it.
I'm reading away, from cover to cover. I'm not sure if it's just intended to be a reference book but I don't think it can hurt. I can always go back and revisit chapters that may apply to me later in my pregnancy. Today is February 19th. It has been 14 days that I have known that I was pregnant from the home test I took on the sixth. Two weeks. Really? It has flown by but today seems to be crawling, as did everyday before it.
I called my doctor and made my first appointment. They didn't want to see me until March 21st. That is a whole month more away! I know it's for the best. I am only five an a half weeks along now. There is not much to tell me still. They could weigh me, take my blood pressure and test my urine to confirm I am preggo, but that won't do much good. I do have a scale, blood pressure monitor and a pee test here at home and I've used that pee test about five time by now. Every time it says that, yes, I am still pregnant.
On March 21st, I will be ten weeks along. The good book as I've taken to calling it, or 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' mentioned a whole smorgasbord of things they may or may not do at my first doctors visit. This leaves me with a ton of questions racing through my mind all day. Not worried questions, but excited ones! Will I have an ultrasound? How about a doppler? Will I be able to hear a heartbeat yet? Or am I too fat for that? When will my next appointment be after that? Will I cry when the doc looks in my basement in front of my husband? That's not cheating. That is also not a three way. Will he have a seat at the end of the bed and have an eagle eye view into my uterus too? Hell no! I will be sure he will be seated by my head. I don't know how he could ever think a sexy thought about me again after looking deep into my womb with the bright lights of a doctors office getting all science-y up in there.
With these questions running through, and doing laps around, my mind I have to remember that this is my body and I do have some control. I do have a say in things. I am running this show. Like the seating arrangement in the doctors office for instance, Paul can sit by my head and hold my hand so I don't have to look down at him peaking inside my body with his jaw dropped, high fiving the doctor. I can ask questions. I can tell them all how I feel. I will not be frozen in a dream state. To help this I will make a list of questions. But still, another month to wait!?!
I downloaded an app on my iPod Touch from Baby Center called My Pregnancy Today. Everyday it tells you a couple of facts about what's going on in there now. It also tells you how many days you have left until your due date. I did not notice this feature before. Today it says, "240 days to go!". Two. Hundred. and. Forty. 2-4-0. Holy mother! What? Why not just round up to a solid year to be safe?! Why have I never noticed how freakishly long a human is pregnant for? I've had friends that were pregnant and had babies. It seemed to pass by rather quickly. Maybe a sick day or two, then you eat a whole bunch and get a belly, then a baby shower and then the baby's here. I guess that feels a little different when everyday is a new adventure in your ever changing new body. My boobs are already getting huge. I projectile vomited into my hand while I was driving to work. I have to pee so much I was thinking of just moving my desk and telephone into the bathroom at work. From what I read things are just going to keep getting weirder. So I will decide to enjoy this wacky ride. After all, this is what I was meant to do, as an animal that is. Reproduce. Look ma, I'm doing it! No hands!
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