Little Donny Dreams

Tomorrow is the big day. The day we've all been waiting for. We couldn't be more excited. It is ultrasound day and the 20 week mark. The halfway point. Five months along. This is really going by faster than I expected.

The dreams I've been having are strange to say the least. I spent last night searching through a giant Walmart/Costco hybrid with ceilings as high as the sky. Just trying to find some low-sodium chicken flavored top ramen while strangers stop me and ask me unrelated questions that I don't know how to answer. My dreams are so bonkers. I know they don't mean anything. They are just my brain exercising, working things out. That is why when I'm having baby dreams, I don't think they are some sign that is telling me the baby's gender.

The other night I had a dream we had the baby. I was carrying baby around and suddenly it dawned on me, hey the baby is here, I don't have to wait for the ultrasound to find out the gender. (Makes perfect sense, right?) So I know it's time for a diaper change anyway and I call Paul over to look and see if they're a boy or a girl. I take off the diaper and Paul says "It's a girl!" I look closely and correct him, no it's a boy. I point at the tiniest, most microscopic mosquito sized penis. We both smile that we have a healthy boy. I move the baby to the couch onto a changing blanket to put on a new diaper. Suddenly that penis is a huge man sized one. It stretches from baby's groin past his chin. No denying the gender any longer.

I wondered to myself how I didn't notice this before. I was kind of frightened by it really. Then it dawned on me. How the hell am I going to put a diaper over this thing? What will I tell my family! Oh my god that thing has veins the size of night crawlers! What do I do now that I have a Little Donny on my hands. Oh, boy. Once the diaper was in place everything seemed normal. I remember dreading the thought of the next diaper change before I woke up.

Watch Little Donny Sketch Click that link to watch the hilarious sketch from the Upright Citizen Brigade Show.

So, needless to say I don't believe I'm psychic. At least I hope not. I wouldn't mind a boy but I hope he doesn't have elephantitis of the penis. Only time will tell.

Now, it's the final countdown to ultrasound time. It's like Christmas eve. I just want to go to sleep so it will get here faster.