Gender Day, 20 Weeks

Baby's profile, left side.

The big 20 weeks ultrasound day came and went, and it went well! We saw our fuzzy, grainy black and white baby wiggling around and flipping back and forth. We also saw them in every imaginable (and unimaginable) angle and form. Stretched out, tucking their limbs beneath them, lying on their stomach, side, back and even shoving their butt right in the camera. Butt jokes already. Nice.

There was lots of shots taken by the ultrasound tech that I couldn't not decipher. Measurements were taken of the head, the spine, feet, hands, arms and legs. She guessed baby was about 12 ounces now. She took photos of baby's face, checking the nose and mouth for the absence of cleft palat. Everything was good. The heart has four chambers, the diaphragm is forming, the baby is swallowing and practicing breathing the way they should. Our little person is growing into a real baby and that is what matters. The most important thing this ultrasound revealed is the fact that we have a healthy human growing inside of me.

They baby is healthy and we are happy about our upcoming adventure in parenthood. This is why we have decided to keep the gender a secret. I know it's not important. KIDDING. It's a boy. Awesome, right!? We are so excited. I think Paul was happy that the lights were so dim in the ultrasound room so no one could see his 'watery' eyes. I love him. I told him that is why they keep the room dark, so the dad's don't look like wussies in front on their wives and the office staff. Kidding again. I did tell him that, but he knew I was just trying to make him laugh.

Butt, legs and wiener!!

So looking back, I think I did know I was carrying a boy. That was my very first gut feeling. Everything after that was me over thinking something that couldn't actually be determined by reason, research or knowledge. I thought it was a boy. Then I thought, no, I probably only think that because I want a boy. It's probably a girl. If it's a girl that will be tough for me. Like my mother always said when I was being bratty. "Someday you'll have a daughter that is just like you, you'll see." Oh. Shit. Could I have a daughter just like me? Oh, for the love of God. Scary.

For the record, my mother was hoping we were having a girl. Still hoping for her revenge.

So for the last 4 plus months I have been mentally preparing myself for having a girl, even though my gut told me I was having a boy. I picked out girl names, thought of girlie mommy child scenarios and pictured stupid girlie pink Disney princess nightmare clothes and decor. So what now? It's going to take a few days to get used to calling 'it' a 'he'. and we are happy!

When baby revealed the gender I think we were so happy just to know them a little better than the moment before. I think both my husband and I would have had the same ecstatic and emotional reaction if they would have told us the baby was a girl. Just that much closer to know this person we have created felt amazing. Thank you modern science.

So now what? Now I imagine life with a son. I picture all the things I wasn't allowing myself to before when I was thinking it was a girl. The coolest part is now Paul and I can get serious about picking out a name. I guess I'll have to put my favorite girl name, Louise, on the back burner. I'll save it for if I'm ever pregnant with my mother's revenge.